
It wasn’t long before he was ready to
ride a 3-wheeler. He didn’t care that the yellow and black, heavy duty
Murray trike was a hand-me-down from older brother Darren. It had rugged,
heavy duty tires and cool, bent-chrome triangular handle bars. He’d jump
on it like a cowboy rear mounting a horse and peddle as fast as he could down
the sidewalk and around the cul-de-sac of our street.

Before Jory entered Kindergarten, we
moved to a new neighborhood. The semi-rural streets were without
sidewalks. Our house had a long driveway that ended in a wide cemented
area intended for cars to make u-turns into a double garage. It was
perfect for the boys to ride bikes, play Four square and basketball.

By the time Jory entered kindergarten, tricycles were for preschoolers and big wheels were the “in thing.” Again he inherited a hand-me-down that Darren had outgrown. It was low to the ground, red plastic, with a huge front wheel and 2 smaller back wheels. The yellow handlebars were like “Easy Rider’s” and Jory sat a few inches above the ground between the back wheels, stretching his legs so that his feet could barely reach the pedals coming out of the center of the front wheel. In our driveway, he learned to “burn rubber,” do “donuts,” and skid to a stop.
At the same time, Jory was perfecting
his skills on another hand-me-down red and white Schwinn 18” 2-wheeler.
Once the training wheels came off, he begged for more pavement, specifically
the sleepy cul-de-sac across from our house. Because there was very
little traffic, he was allowed to ride his bike in circles to his heart’s
content. Usually, Darren joined Jory, and sometimes a teenage neighbor
rode with them on a skateboard.

Seventh grade went well, but in 8th
grade, Geoff, the kid that had bullied Jory since third grade, slashed the bike
tires sometime during the school day. Jory called home as deflated as his
tires.
“I know it was Geoff,” he blurted
out. “Some of the kids saw him hanging around the bike racks. He’s such a coward and I haven’t done anything to him. I
can’t ride it home,” he told me over the phone.
I met Jory in the school parking lot
and we lifted the bike into our black and silver Astro van. Dad came to
the rescue over the weekend and 2 new tires were purchased and installed on Jory’s bike.
A few months later, Jory called me
after school. “I’m at Sav-on. Can you come get me?”
“Why can’t you ride your bike home?” I
asked.
“Because someone stole my bike,” he
whispered into the phone.
“Are you sure? How did that
happen?”
“I left my bike outside while I went in
to buy a candy bar,” he explained. “I was only gone a minute and the bike
wasn’t there when I came out. I went back in to talk to the manager and
use his phone. He says that several bikes have been stolen from in front
of his store.”
“Did you lock your bike before you went
in?”
“No,” he said in a shaky voice.
“I was only running in and out.”
“I’ll be right there, but I really
should make you walk home for being so irresponsible. Besides, you don’t
have permission to stop at Sav-on on your way to and from school.” Jory’s
mode of operation was almost always to ask for forgiveness instead of
permission.


After school, on the day of Jory’s 16th
birthday, we were at the Department of Motor Vehicles office celebrating his
successful passing of the behind-the-wheel driving test. He walked away
from the DMV with a huge grin and his first driver’s license. That night
we celebrated with family and Jory’s friends. Darren
presented him with the traditional family icon for new drivers: an old
steering wheel that had been rescued from a junk yard. He was entitled to
proudly display this icon in his room until his younger brother Shanon reached
driving age. Then, came the passing of the car keys ceremony, as Darren
gave up the Mazda pickup and Jory proudly stuffed the keys into his jeans
pocket with the confidence of new ownership.
Of course, we still owned the truck and
Jory’s driving privileges hung upon the Driving Contract that he had yet to
sign. We had learned from previous experience with a teenage driver, that
the best way to make sure that everyone understood the rules was to put them
down on paper with signatures to seal the deal. The contract was fairly
simple: the driver had to follow all DMV laws; qualify for a good grades
insurance discount; and be considerate, which entailed informing parents of
where he was going, when he was returning, and who was going to be in the
vehicle with him. We also imposed a few special conditions: a 10
mile driving circumference from our house that limited how far he could go
without getting special permission, a limitation that restricted passengers to
the number of seatbelts minus one —the truck had 3 front seatbelts and we
didn’t feel it was safe to drive with a middle passenger, and a hard and fast
rule that no one could be in the vehicle if they possessed or imbibed in
alcohol or drugs. Jory negotiated another condition: his driving
privileges could not be taken away because of a messy room. We all signed
and he was an official driver.
The first week, Jory drove himself to
high school and directly home. All was good, then came the weekend and
Jory chose not to attend an activity that involved his younger brother.
When we came home, Jory was playing his guitar in his room. All was well.
The next day, Sam and I were shopping
and ran into Jory’s Boy Scout leader. He told us how proud Jory was of
his new wheels and how funny it was when the truck wouldn’t start and all the
boys gathered at his house had to help push the truck to get it started.
Hmmmmm......we had no knowledge of Jory being at the Scout Leader’s house or
problems with the truck.
When we got home, we asked Jory is
there was anything he wanted to tell us.
“Nope,” he replied.
“Did you choose not to go with us
yesterday because you had already planned to go over to Mr. Gonzalez’s house?”
“Yep.”
“Was that being considerate?”
“Nope.”
“Then, you have broken your driving
contract and cannot drive for a week.” He had tested the contract and
knew we meant business.
“I’ll get my buddy Nate to pick me up
for school,” Jory replied.
Almost every new driver has some sort
of fender bender within his first year of driving. Jory’s was after
school, driving home past his old elementary school. He was thinking
happy thoughts and didn’t notice the car in front of him slow down to turn
left. When he became aware, he swerved right but still clipped the back
bumper of the car in front of him. Of course, he stopped and apologized
profusely to the elderly couple in the car he just hit. After exchanging
insurance information, he commented that his parents were probably going “to
kill” him.
Jory’s grades in high school were
always just good enough to qualify for the automobile insurance discount, but
never reflected his intelligence or abilities. He scraped by with minimal
effort unless he loved the teacher and was motivated to achieve. The
teachers that he didn’t care about called constantly to tell us that he was
late in turning in work or projects. It was a never-ending battle.
We took Jory to a career counselor
during his junior year of high school. After significant testing, she
suggested that we take him out of high school band and enroll him in music
theory at the community college. She also thought that we should change
his emphasis from math and science classes to social sciences and art. We
agreed and immediately made changes for the next semester, substituting
psychology for physics.
Jory’s grades went from mediocre to
straight A’s. We couldn’t believe our eyes when his report card
came. It was definitely an event to celebrate. Grandpa Morris
quietly suggested to us that this was a perfect time to reward Jory for his
academic success.
“Jory has finally earned the good
grades that you expected from him, so why don’t you reward him for his
achievement. That old truck has been having major mechanical problems, so
now would be a good time for you to trade it in for a new car,” Grandpa urged.

We had never thought of buying him a car, so this was totally a new concept for us. We thought it over and decided that Grandpa was absolutely right. We looked at new cars and selected a black Mazda Protege, based on its large trunk space that could hold all his instruments and technical equipment, as well as its high safety and performance records.
Jory had no idea that we had been to
the car dealership and traded the truck for a new car. The next night
after dinner, we told him that his truck was going into the dealer for service
and repairs. Dad advised him to take all his stuff out of the truck,
because the service and repairs would take several days. He followed us
to the dealership, where this beautiful Mazda Protege with shiny new wheels was
sparkling and prominently displayed in front of the showroom. While Sam
and I were inside with the salesperson, Jory looked through the showroom and meandered
outside. He was checking out the Mazda Protege when we joined him.
“Isn’t it a beauty?” the salesman
commented to Jory.
“Yep! It’s an awesome car,” he
responded.
“Here are the keys. Would you
like to take it for a spin?” offered the salesman.
“Can I?” asked Jory, looking at Dad and
I.
“You can even drive it home,” responded
Dad. “It’s yours. You earned it with straight A’s this last
semester.”
“You’re kidding! You’ve got to be
kidding!” Jory reacted with astonishment. His eyes grinned as he
let out a raucous hoot expressing his disbelief and happiness.
Of course, we actually owned the
car, but Jory was the assigned driver. In
addition, this giant reward worked magic in motivating Jory to succeed in the
future.
COMMENTS:
Click on Jorysmother@gmail.com to send comments.
Jory Prum 2009
One day, when riding my bike down at Laguna Lake (the pond near my childhood home), I met a guy playing pan pipes. He was friendly and invited me to his home to see his collection of pan pipes. I have always been a trusting soul, so I went. He also made things from mirrors and gave me a better mirror for my shoe box "camera"!
I was a terrible student. I was bored much of the time and didn't do my homework. In order to get me to shape up, my folks often threatened to send me to military school. What actually worked better was rewards, such as a basketball hoop being installed on the garage if I got a B average.
One day, when riding my bike down at Laguna Lake (the pond near my childhood home), I met a guy playing pan pipes. He was friendly and invited me to his home to see his collection of pan pipes. I have always been a trusting soul, so I went. He also made things from mirrors and gave me a better mirror for my shoe box "camera"!
I was a terrible student. I was bored much of the time and didn't do my homework. In order to get me to shape up, my folks often threatened to send me to military school. What actually worked better was rewards, such as a basketball hoop being installed on the garage if I got a B average.
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