Frustration

Instead of Kyle, “Frustration” should have been Jory’s middle name.  He  had a short fuse, usually fueled by frustration, which caused him to explode.  We first noticed it when he was a toddler.  He thought that Daddy stole the “boom booms” from the Disneyland Electrical Parade record and he cried so hard that he couldn’t catch his breath.  Actually, it was his plastic record player that was the culprit, as it couldn’t produce bass sounds.  He could hear those “boom booms” on Daddy’s stereo recording, but the bass was missing when he played the record on the toy record player in his bedroom.

In elementary school, when the teacher required writing with a ballpoint pen, Jory produced illegible scribbles that the teacher couldn’t read.  The root of his problem was actually delayed small motor skills in holding a pencil to write small script letters, but at school, “chicken scratch” penmanship was just not acceptable.

“Jory, you’ll have to rewrite this assignment tonight for homework,” the teachers demanded.

He’d march into the house indignantly furious, dumping his backpack on the floor, and storming directly to the refrigerator door.  

“I won’t do it!” he proclaimed to the carton of non-dairy milk substitute.  He was allergic to milk.  “I already wrote it once and I won’t write it again.  I hate writing with a pen.  You can’t  erase mistakes and everyone makes mistakes in writing.  It’s a waste of my time!”

Slamming the refrigerator door, he swiveled to the pantry, yanking out the box of Fruit Loops, upon which his name was inscribed with a Sharpie.  

Because Jory could devour an entire box of cereal in one sitting, his brothers complained that there was never any cereal left for them.  My brilliant solution was to buy three boxes of the same cereal and write each boy’s name on the box.  It was a great idea that didn’t work very well because after Jory finished his box, he helped himself to whosever’s box was available.  Asking for forgiveness instead of permission was always Jory’s mode of operation.

“I have an idea,” I suggested to Jory.  “How about writing your assignment onto the computer and then you can easily print it out and turn it in to your teacher?”  Technology always won out and it was the easiest way for me to choose my battles.  

Jory, in time, found two other creative alternatives that worked for him.  First, he asked his Grandpa Morris if he could have a Paper-Mate ballpoint pen just like the one that Grandpa always carried in his shirt pocket protector.  Grandpa gifted him with an exact replica and Jory equipped it with blue erasable ink refills.  He used that pen for the rest of his life and it was safely tucked into his pocket when his deadly motorcycle accident occurred. 

Second, when he was a junior in high school, Jory bought a used Newton with a portable, plug-in keyboard.  Of course, he applied his forgiveness vs. permission strategy with his parents.  We found out when he strapped a leather Newton holster onto his belt, and they became inseparable partners.  He could type faster than he could ever write, so classroom notes and assignments were speedily completed with tapping rhythms on his keyboard.  High school teachers and college instructors never objected because his assignments were always legible, and many of them requested printed copies of his classroom notes for their own use.    

Jory always spent his time focusing on the good, the positive, and what was fun.  Often, though, he became furious and shared his frustrations loudly.  Like an erupting volcano, he’d spew his complaints in all directions until he bottomed out.  During his cool down phase, we counseled him to let his brain overtake emotions while he looked for creative alternatives to solve the issues.  Once he had a plan, Jory left his frustrations behind and proceeded with a confident smile and/or a deep, belly-laugh.

At CalArts, Jory entered as a music composition major, using Finale software, a midi interface, and a keyboard to write music on his Mac computer.  He was immediately engaged in collaboration with the animators who needed music and sounds for their films.  It wasn’t long before he discovered that the film school owned exciting AVID technology equipment that could enhance the quality of creating sound on films.  He fussed and fumed that only film students had access to AVID.  He was frustrated, it wasn’t fair, and he made sure that everybody heard about it, including us.

“What does it take to gain access to the equipment?” Sam asked Jory.

“Only registered film students can use it,” he replied.

“So why don’t you apply to the film school and get a double major?” suggested Sam.

“There are no double majors at CalArts.  It’s never been done,” he replied.

“Well, there’s always a first time.  Why don’t you propose a double major and submit it with your application to film school?”

Over the summer, the two of them created a list of essential courses that would comprise a new major called Music Composition for Film and Video.  Jory submitted his proposal and his application for admittance to CalArts Film School, along with an essay on why a new degree of combining these two arts was useful, essential for the future, and in keeping with Walt Disney's philosophy of integrating creative arts.  In the fall, Jory returned to CalArts as a registered film student with full access to all their proprietary technology.  At the end of his Senior year, he was the first student to graduate with a double major and the only graduating student of the film school who never made a film.

After college, Jory migrated to Northern California to work for George Lucas at LucasArts.  He established himself in Fairfax, a community of nightly live music venues, forever Hippies, artists, and creative thinkers.  He fit right in and became a vibrant part of the community.  He knew everyone in town and always volunteered whenever someone had a need.  With help from Fairfax locals, he built his recording studio, and became a business owner.  When neighbors had problems, they took them to Jory for solutions.  When he wasn’t around, it was common for townsfolk to ask themselves, “What would Jory do?”  It didn’t take long for him to earn the reputation as honorary mayor and town psychologist.   

One day he received notice from the Town of Fairfax that his business license needed renewing and that the fee had doubled.  He was furious!  He called the Fairfax Business Office and was informed that the process of renewing licenses was now being outsourced to an out of state, private business.  He began investigating and discovered that the city did not benefit in any way from the increased fees, as all the excess money went directly to the outsourced company.  He sputtered and fumed!  He calculated the time and cost of processing the licenses by a Fairfax employee and found that it was relatively inexpensive and took very little time.  Now he was seething and spewing that laziness was costing local business owners abusive and unnecessary expense. While cooling down, he decided his next step should be to attend the next Town Council meeting and present his facts.   

“Doubling the costs of licenses only reduces the work load of one civil servant and does not contribute in any way to the well being of the community.  It is unacceptable and ridiculous to support a private company on the backs of Fairfax business owners,” Jory maintained.

He left that meeting feeling that the Town Council didn't take his complaint seriously.  He was late and a second eruption followed.  Convinced that there was more to discover, he decided to look into the Fairfax budget, which is always within the public domain.  He scrutinized every penny, discovering discrepancies and questionable expenditures.  When his concerns were dismissed at the next Town Council meeting, he established an internet website to openly share his findings.

After several calls home to vent, Jory was cautioned by Sam, “You are now delving into established politics and it could all backfire on you.  You are a small business and the Town could decide to never approve your business facility.  They might give you problems that could ruin your business.  You need to back off.”

Like a volcano redirecting its lava flow, Jory decided to run for Town Council on a platform to bring fresh ideas to the Town Council.  He didn’t win, but he remained active in civic affairs.

When the Fairfax townsfolk publicly protested Chemtrails, a fictitious belief that the government was trying to poison Fairfax residents by putting poison gasses into high flying airplanes that left streaks of white gas exhaust over their town, Jory became irritated with the absurdity of the issue.  After the Town Council approved the ordinance to ban Chemtrails over Fairfax, Jory combatted his frustration by proposing that the Town Council should also pass Puff The Magic Dragon legislation banning all fire breathing dragons from entering Fairfax city limits.

Chemtrails activists in downtown Fairfax

Puff the Magic Dragon

Chemtrails over Marin

Because he believed in public transportation, Jory sold his truck with the intent of using public busses to get around.  Simultaneously, Marin County reduced bus service into practically nonexistence, so he lobbied at County Transportation hearings to no avail.  He bought a bicycle, pleaded at Town Council meetings for bike stands to be installed in downtown Fairfax, but gave up riding his bike after several close calls with negligent drivers on narrow country roads.  He borrowed or rented vehicles when needed, but ultimately gave in to buying the used motorcycle, which led to his demise.  

Equipment failures or breakdowns, as well as incompetence in business were huge frustrations for Jory.  He ranted relentlessly, spouting picturesque vocabulary, hoping that something would be done to remedy those failures.  He wrote letters and posted his frustrations on Facebook and Apple.

Jory began a board game group for Fairfax residents.  It met regularly and was well attended.  Slowly, membership began to fall.  Jory went faithfully to each meeting, expecting attendance from those who swore they’d be there.  Eventually, he sat alone when nobody kept their commitments.  He was already spending time in Norway, so he mitigated his source of frustration by starting a board game group in Oslo.  The popular group had 140+ members at the time of his death.

Norway had its share of frustration for Jory, as well.  He complained about the Norwegian phone company.  He wrote to them and made trips to their offices, getting nowhere, just more frustrated.  In desperation, he called them, which led to a lengthy phone call with a long wait time.  The end result was that they surcharged him extra for the time he was waiting and never resolved his complaint. 

Lecturing at Hamar University

Getting through bureaucracy was also a nightmare, as he tried to legally obtain Norwegian residency and the right to work.  At his wits end, he hired a lawyer to help him navigate the bureaucracy.  In the meantime, he bartered his way to obtain studio space and volunteered to teach and help out at the universities.  When billable work came his way, he bypassed the bureaucracy by channeling it through studio.jory.org in Fairfax.  

From his childhood, we tried to teach Jory to be self-sufficient, but my attempts at cooking lessons were futile.  He loved eating, but was frustrated with the time it took for food preparation.  He absolutely hated the clean-up component.  Breakfast was his easiest meal, for he loved frozen waffles and simply popped them into the toaster every morning.  For most of his adulthood, it was easier for him to eat out than to cook a real meal.  In Norway, it was simply too expensive to eat out all the time, so he tried his hand at cooking.  Frustration set in and he called me from Norway for help.  Over Skype I tried to coach him as he attempted to cook, Fårikål, a Norwegian national dish that I had never heard of.  The ingredients were cabbage and lamb, two things that I would never have put together. 

“I put them both in a big pot with water and turned on the flame under the pot,” he began.

“How about salt and pepper?” I asked.

“I can add some,” Jory responded as he ran back and forth to his kitchen.  “It’s starting to smell burnt!” he continued, “What should I do?”

“Check the water, Jory.  You probably need more water.  Put in lots of water and cover the pot with a lid.  You should probably lower the flame so the food will cook slowly, “ I added.

There were several more Skype sessions as the cooking progressed.  Finally, Jory called to say that the Fårikål was ready and he was going to eat it.  He texted later to say that it was ok but he wouldn’t make it again.

“I learned my lesson. Fårikål was tasty the night I made it. Yesterday, though, it was rank and I had to dispose of the cabbage as quickly as humanly possible!  This morning, however, I couldn't jettison the remains and clean the bowl out fast enough!  Egads!  I sure am glad I found a canister of baking soda for the fridge last week. I hope I can open my fridge once again soon,” wrote Jory.

With a smile and a giggle, Jory would have heartily agreed with his favorite stand-up comedian and social critic, George Carlin.  “No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you're screwed because it's all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain't in it.” 

COMMENTS:  

Click on Jorysmother@gmail.com to send comments.

Jory.  2009

I am always engaged on projects of various kinds. One recent project was getting rid of my car and learning how to survive using just a bicycle & busses.

I am a member of my community and strive to see it constantly improve and thrive.

Jory    January 13, 2015.  From the admins at LinkedIn's Norway group:

"Based on carefully reading your profile, we are afraid you do not meet the criteria for membership to this group. As a result unfortunately, we had to decline your membership application.  You need to document in your LinkedIn profile that you are either Norwegian, live in Norway, work for a Norwegian company or have any other strong affiliation to Norway."

Uh, yeah. So I live in Norway half the year, I speak Norwegian, I have an office in Norway, I'm starting a new business in Norway, and I work with a significant number of Norwegian game developers. Clearly I don't have a strong affiliation with Norway. And *clearly* you jackasses have read my profile carefully.

Jory   Facebook—November 13, 2015

If I never speak with a phone company again, it'll be too soon.  Fucking Telenor.  Fucking Netcom.  Telenor can't figure out how to not hang up on me or get my phone working.  Fucking Netcom can't figure out how not to deplete my prepaid balance when I'm supposed to have a month of service prepaid.  I fucking hate telephone companies.  I'm *trying* to get a good data plan.  That's the goal.  But these assholes are costing me money just trying to get a fucking mobile plan at all.  Because that's no different than being on pre-paid anything, and especially not different from being on pre-paid Netcom (which is the shit network One Call uses).  I've had enough of not being capable of having international data when I go to a neighboring country simply because I'm still on pre-paid.  And I've had it with Netcom's shit network that drains iPhone batteries at record speed.

Martha Elizabeth Ture

Thank you for sending this.  I am happy to read it.  Jory should be remembered also for the acute analysis he did of the town budget, which saved us money and revealed some dubious proposals.  There was nothing funny or wacky about that.  I have always thanked him for it.

Cindy Ross

As some of you know, in 2012 Jory wrote "The Puff Resolution" and the two of us presented it to the Fairfax Town Council.

Elaine Asa

As I have said before, Jory really knew which parents to choose. Both of your teaching skills and understanding of Jory were something to model for other parents. I’m sure that it wasn’t easy raising him because he set the bar very high. Jory continually refused to accept what didn’t make sense to him and fought for those things that he believed to be right. That’s a quality that most people don’t have and it’s a quality that many times tests not only parents but society but it’s a quality to be admired. Too few people stand by their principals.  Again, thank you for sharing a part of your life with Jory and letting us get to know him.

Karen Herzog

It felt great to be with Jory again for a short while!  How hilarious that the “stole the drum” tantrum was so poignant toward his future career!

Dee Nevares

I do not know which I love more, the story of the bass or the story of the double major.

Bobi Hirschbein
Another winner.  Thank you for sharing.

Mike Rogers
Thank you for your new set of stories on Jory. I love reading them and learning more about Jory through these stories. His battles with Fairfax city hall were very interesting. I can see why he would have been very frustrated with those folks. 

Judy Sowell
Enjoyed your latest Jory story.

Fran Komansky
I religiously read your Jory posts. You are a wonderful writer!! Thank you for sharing.

©   Leslye J. Prum   2017  All Rights Reserved

Answering Machine Messages

Sony Answering Machine

When Jory was in 5th grade, his Dad brought home a new answering machine and recorded his own official, deep-voiced, "You have reached the Prum residence.  We are not available at this time.  Please leave your name and number and we'll return your call."  

Almost immediately, our home phone began ringing off the hook.  During the day, calls came through, but in the late afternoons and evenings, when we answered the phone, the callers always hung up.  Our new answer machine kept recording lots of calls while we were away, always followed by hang-ups.  We began to think that the machine was defective until someone left a  "That was great!" message.  Then we became alerted and called our own number.  

True to Jory's way of doing things–Ask for Forgiveness Rather than Permission–he had changed the message without telling us.  Now it was Jory’s 11-year-old voice singing:

Jory is in Row 2 from the top & 3 in from the right.

"7-3-8-7-7-8-6 . . .
We can't make it to the phone.

If you just leave 

Your name and number,

We'll give you a call

When we're home. . . "

A classmate of Jory’s, had discovered the singing message and told the entire fifth grade class and all the Cub Scouts.  The news spread throughout Laguna Road School.  The cool new thing to do for kids and their parents was to call our house and listen to Jory singing.  

We liked it, too.  It remained our phone message for many years.

We make bubbles.

Sometime later, older brother Darren with Jory, had created a new way to answer the phone.  They were hooked on bubbles.  When either of them answered the phone, they would say, "This is the Acme Bubble Company.  We make bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and . . ."  until the caller gave up and hung up.  They expanded and improved their bubble "business" when Jory discovered how to make our new Mac Plus repeat the word bubble indefinitely.  Darren recorded it on his tape cassette player and recorder.  With their newest technology, they ran to answer the phone, pressed the play button, and choked down their laughter until the caller hung up.

Cassette player & recorder

Mac Plus

Jory had discovered a receptive new audience, but his phone messages remained dormant and unusually sedate until he built studio.jory.org.  When he entered the video game sound design arena, he made work fun and his studio environment reflected it.  Of course, his phone messages also needed to be unique and playful.

His first studio phone message using voice over actors was by David Nowlin, who voiced Sam in the Sam & Max video games.  Sam and Max were two famous private investigators who used their wits to their advantage in order to solve a hypnotism conspiracy.  When calls came into studio.jory.org, the caller was treated to Sam’s British accent and personality announcing, “You have reached studio.jory.org……”  

His voice over actor friends volunteered and Jory began to change his phone messages according to the games being recorded.  There were answering machine messages from Marty McFly when Back to the Future was recording, followed by random characters from various other video games.

Jory’s younger brother Shanon was simultaneously creating video games for MGA Entertainment.  He was familiar with the movie Scream and decided that Roger L. Jackson, who voiced Ghostface in the Scream film series, would be perfect for his $100,000 Pyramid video game.  Shanon hired Roger for voice overs and also hired Jory as the sound recordist and voice editor for the game. 

Later, Jory was auditioning voice over actors for an upcoming Telltale video game.  He contacted Roger and hired him for The Walking Dead video game.  After a recording session, Jory asked Roger if he’d record a message for his studio's answering machine.  Roger jumped in and when someone called studio.jory.org, they heard Roger’s sultry voice whispering something like, “You have reached studio.jory.org.  Do you like scary movies?  What's your favorite scary movie?  Do you like leaving messages on scary answering machines? Then leave your message for Jory . . .”

One May 2nd, Jory called his 8-year-old niece, Amber, on her birthday, but she wasn't home.  When she called back, Jory's answer machine replied with a message from one of the voice actors from Puzzle Agent.  The funny message from Agent Nelson Tethers, the sole member of the Puzzle Research Division of the FBI, voiced by Doug Boyd, asked for a secret code that included the password avocado.  Since that day, Amber gave her Uncle Jory the nickname of Uncle Avocado.  Funny thing, though, Jory, detested avocados, but loved his only niece when she referred to him as Uncle Avocado.

COMMENTS:  

Click on Jorysmother@gmail.com to send comments.

Mark Walsh

This blog post made me smile so big! I knew Jory at CalArts, he mixed my student film, and while I knew we had a lot in common, it’s a delight to hear we were similar kids- Only Jory was much more daring than I was! It’s amazing to know Jory better through these posts. Thank you.

Daniel Ruegemer

That was great. I always look forward to your Jory Stories! I hope you have more coming!  I did not know Jory but it was a strange misunderstanding that led me, a motorcycle rider in Northern California, to somehow come in touch with you. I can tell you the story sometime.

Elaine Socol

You have made and will continue to make my life “richer and more meaningful”, because of your wonderful blogs about Jory. May his memory be a blessing........

Susan Franz

Just another “thank you for sharing”.

Anna Irwin-Schutze

Ah, this reminds me of my Dad. Years ago he would make up the best messages. We used to have random folks call just to hear them, and then all their friends! I wish they could have met, kindrid spirits.

Rita Blumstein

As always, I enjoy reading your accounts, but with a twinge of sadness for such a great loss that you and your family have endured.

Penni Zelinkoff

Great story thanks !!  Nice to keep learning about Jory.   Love it.  Thank you for writing stories about Jory and sharing.

Barbara Talento

I love these stories and the pictures.  Uncle Avocado will stick in my memory for a while.  Thanks.

Barbara Levine

I would have called your house to listen to the message. 

Wonderful stories and memories.

Judy Finkel

Thanks. Enjoyed it.

Edith Colucci

Nos pensées sont toujours avec Jory.

(Our thoughts are always with Jory.)

Dee Nevares

Humor is important.

Judy Sowell

 I enjoyed your Jory’s Answering Machine story.  He was amazing.

Brian Novak

I was at Disneyland yesterday, for my birthday, and my wife and I attended the PIXAR short film festival, which is a somewhat permanent feature in tomorrow land.  They show three short films from the PIXAR studio.  In the end credits of “For The Birds”, Jory Prum appears in the names listed under sound.  Made me smile.

Marilyn Moidel

Thank you for another chapter. At least I read it during the day so my nose can get unstuffed before bedtime. I should try to remember that I cry when I read these!!!  

There should be a section of “the library” marked “Stories to make you feel better about the world we live in” and your “book” about Jory will be in it. I keep a basket by my bed of just such books to read before going to sleep instead of watching the NEWS. (Too bad we can’t confine the “NEWS” to Hall-o-ween where it belongs)

WE are surrounded by GOOD people.  Keep adding good feelings and beauty to the world. We NEED IT!

Knut Rothe
Thanks, Leslye.  All the best.

Rayleen Williams

I so enjoy Jory's stories.  I wish I had met him--an amazing kind, thoughtful man.  We need more of him in the world.

Jimmy Dunne
How can anybody "detest avocados?"

©   Leslye J. Prum   2017   All Rights Reserved