Act of Kindness

On a gorgeous, sunny Spring afternoon, along the picturesque California coastline, a negligent driver pulled out of a beach parking lot, stopped halfway across the coastal highway, and blocked the right of way for an unsuspecting, oncoming motorcycle.  It changed our world forever.  

Jory was unconscious while airlifted to the trauma unit at Stanford Hospital.  His arrival was leaked to the public before we were notified, resulting in thousands of postings on Facebook.  His friends, colleagues, and family were in shock, concerned, and distraught.  They were reaching out to each other and to us for information, hope, and solace.  I was thrust right into the middle of social media as the spokesperson and liaison between our small family and Jory's huge world.  

The outpouring of 50,000 postings of sorrow and prayers on social media was astounding.  Many of his friends and acquaintances shared their experiences, others sent me beautiful letters describing adventures and encounters with him.  These were gifts, like windows into his soul.  

One of these letters arrived via email and filled me with mother’s pride.  It was from another parent on the other side of the world who had a special son who loved music, and Jory, as much as we did.  I’d like to share our correspondence with you.

Dear Leslye and Sam

You don’t know me.  Probably haven’t even heard about me, but I wanted to tell you my little Jory-story.

I think it fits in well together with the many stories that shines a light of what kind of person he was.

Axel Rothe 

I’ll have to explain that I am the father of a boy who suffers from a ... neurological disease.  He used to play the drums. Together we have been working on a musical project for years, trying to collect sounds from renowned artists from all over the world to be included in a song we have written and recorded together.

One dark and cold evening there was a knock on the door on our house in Oslo.  Outside in the cold stood a smiling man with a goatee, long, curly hair in a pony tail and a backpack.  I’d never seen him in my whole life.

He asked if we where the people hunting for sounds and presented himself.  I told him that we were, and he said that he’d been seeking us up because he had heard about our project and wanted to donate a sound to us.

He was invited in, spent the evening with me, Axel (my son), and the rest of the family.  We ate a lovely meal together, and it felt like he’d been a family friend forever.

Then, he picked out his computer which contained lots of ’sounds’ he had collected around this country.  And we sat there laughing, watching and listening to how he manipulated a sound into what he wanted us to include in the mix of our song.  My son is blind, so he had great joy of listening to how Jory changed the sound of a marching school band into the sound you will hear in one of the enclosed videos.

We kept in touch after he left us late that night, and he told us that he wanted to mix our song into surround sound when we were finished, explaining that he felt that would be the only way to give full justice to it.  Unfortunately, that never happened.

These days, Axel and myself are finally about to release our song.  Every day, up until our release, I post one of the sounds we were given on Facebook.  Today it was Jory’s.

We will never forget his generosity.  In our song, he’s still very much alive.  I like that, I hope you do, too.

Yours sincerely

Knut Røthe

I read this letter with a jumble of tears:  sadness, pride, and joy filled my heart.  It was just like Jory to reach out to others, especially if it involved fulfilling someone’s dream.  I listened to Jory’s sound and immediately wrote back.

Dear Knut and Axel,

Thank you so much for your Jory story and the note you wrote along with it.  We feel so honored that you shared it with us.  I watched the YouTube video of Cloudberry Cream Rooftop Concert, even though my Norwegian is non-existent.  Now that I can place faces with names, I feel like we are part of the same family from far away places.  Axel and Jory both grew up with music in their heads.  They heard rhythms and melodies that no one else could imagine.  They brought their gifts to others through their music.  The world is lucky to share these two special guys.  They were also fortunate to have parents that loved, nurtured, and supported them throughout their ups and downs.

Jory, as you already know, was both giving and caring.  I’m sure he felt fortunate to be a part of Axel’s sound project.  He was the greatest champion of others, yet he never thought of himself as being special.  We knew that Jory was talented and brilliant, an Oscar winner, and a sound designer that won many awards for the video games he worked on, yet we were shocked to learn that he was considered a legend and change agent in his industry.  I think he would have been surprised himself.  We knew that he had many friends, but we couldn’t believe the 50,000 Facebook posts that arrived during the first week after the accident.  Jory had always been a computer guru, but we had no idea that his reputation was worldwide.  He loved Norway and the Norwegian people and we have learned that they love him, too.

I’m guessing that Axel is now about 16-17 years old.  What he has given to the world is incredible.  He serves as a model for other kids and adults who are challenged and refuse to feel sorry for themselves.  Of course, his parents have a great deal to do with helping him succeed and flourish.  Jory’s challenges were many growing up, but he also marched to his own drum.  We encouraged him to believe in himself and be the best that he could be.  Our Jewish tradition, called Tikkun Olam, is that each person is responsible for leaving the world in a better place than when he arrived.  Jory did more to help others in his short 41 years than others have done in more than double that time.  We are so proud of him.  Axel, is also reaching out to others with his music and his perseverance.  We are equally proud of him and his awesome parents.

Cloudberries

We are coming to Norway in a couple of weeks.  We arrive in Oslo on September 12.  This is a working trip, as we are coming to dismantle Jory’s design studio and dispose of the things in his apartment.  Our time will be very busy, but we would like to visit Axel and you.  We are meeting with game designers in Oslo and Bergen and we are looking forward to meeting you.

Our love and best wishes,

Leslye & Sam

PS.  Jory loved cloudberries and especially cloudberry jam.

As an amazing bonus, which parents of adult children don’t often experience, Sam and I have come to meet and know many of Jory's friends and colleagues.  At our first meet-up with Norwegian game developers, we were treated to a surprise visit by Knut and Axel.  They had traveled on several busses and trains to join us for dinner, a very difficult trip for Axel because his disease had not only taken his eyesight, but was now hindering his ability to walk.  

Knut explaining their Jory connection

I felt as if we were meeting old friends who were becoming new family members.  I hugged each of them, explaining that I hug instead of shake hands, as is the custom in Norway.  Then I introduced them to everyone around the table and explained our Jory connection.  Knut enhanced my brief introduction and detailed their evening when Jory and Axel created a special sound for Axel’s Cloudberry Cream Album.  Most of the game developers were totally unaware that Jory had responded to Axel’s request for sounds and graciously welcomed them into the group.  

When we were cleaning out Jory’s studio in Fairfax, I had found a box of his childhood treasures that he had safeguarded and saved.  One of the items was a pair of metal dog tags on a silver chain that he had bought for himself at the Smithsonian Museum of American History.  He was with his eighth grade class from Parks Jr. High on their annual Washington D.C. trip.  The tags were embossed with Jory’s name and birthdate.  

Jory's Dog Tags

Axel reading J-O-R-Y.

I had brought Jory’s metal dog tags to Norway specifically to give them to Axel.  I folded them into his hands and watched as he gingerly rubbed his fingers over the cool embossed letters and numbers.  He fingered the chain and quickly deduced that this was some sort of necklace.  Then, his father explained to him in Norwegian what he was holding.  I watched Axel’s face as he gently rubbed his fingertips along the raised letters a second time.  He read J-O-R-Y and embossed it into his brain.  Then, he took the chain and put it over his head.  When he raised his head, a huge grin illuminated his face.  My heart was smiling.  Jory will always be there for Axel.

Cloudberry Cream Album

Axel and Knut then presented us with the newly released vinyl album of Cloudberry Cream.  Jory’s sound is the 10th one on the mega mix at the end of “Life is Just A Dream.”  Axel’s Cloudberry Cream album fulfilled his dream, but it also exemplified Jory’s lifelong habit of always doing random acts of kindness for others, creating friends from strangers, and making the world a better place for all.

An author once wrote: It is the small acts of kindness that save the world.

The story of Cloudberry Cream is a result of small acts of kindness.

Life is music. That's what Axel Røthe has always thought. Ever since he as a normal, healthy boy got his first plastic toy drum kit. Ever since he played creepy children’s songs on his toy guitar. Ever since he got his first Beatles CD and was hooked. Axel drummed his thighs black and blue. Axel made sounds of everything.

When Axel was six years old he was diagnosed with an illness that over time would leave him blind and gradually weaken him. There is no treatment.  As the illness slowly changed his normal life, he found great relief in music.

Roof Top Concert

Axel grew tired of just playing together with me. He wanted to play together with a band. He wanted to perform.

He had a wild idea about having a surprise concert on the rooftop of his childhood home. Copying the concert the Beatles held on the rooftop on the Apple building in London in 1969.

With help from family and friends we managed to put together a band for the occasion. Besides Axel on the drums and myself on guitar, the band consisted of three of Norway’s most renowned musicians. Axel named his band Cloudberry Cream. The event ended up being shown on Norwegian television.

But Axel wanted to go even further. He wanted to write his own music.

And he wanted one of his songs to be played on the radio.

One night Axel had a dream. He dreamt that his being blind was only a dream. He asked if we could try to write a song. None of us had ever done that before.

So we did it.

The dream became a song, and the song was played on the radio. Then a new idea came to us: What if we asked famous musicians from all over the world to give us a little sound for the long ending of our song.

A key in a door, a whistle, a barking dog, a click or a clank. Anything. Just a little sound. The sounds should then be mixed into the long ending of our song, and by that demonstrating how easy it is to be kind. Even to people you don't know. And by that making the world a little bit better.

Axel and his drums

It has taken us years. But now our two songs are finally complete. They are the result of many acts of kindness. We are very proud. We know they will be played on the radio. We know that many people will like them, as we do. And we hope that all of you who have contributed in one way or another will have a good feeling inside, listening to them.

Axel will never go on tour, play live or record again. But through his Cloudberry Cream we managed to freeze a precious moment of our time. For that I am deeply grateful.

These two songs may not save the world. But they changed Axel’s.

Knut Rothe 2015

https://cloudberrycream.com/

For Jory, there was gratification in doing good deeds that made unexpected differences in the lives of others.  For us, there is joy in knowing that Jory's life was richer and more meaningful because he went out of his way to do those random acts of kindness.  

COMMENTS:  

Click on Jorysmother@gmail.com to send comments.

Jory   (2008)

 I love helping people.  I help nearly anyone who asks, sometimes to my own detriment.  I am extremely supportive of my friends' and partner's dreams.  I enjoy doing things for others.  I believe I can effect change in the world around me. 

Dee Navares

Hard to remember, hard to forget.

Donna Parkinson
Very touching post.  Thank you so much for sharing!

Lou Ann Taback
Love it! 

Elaine Asa

Once again you have lifted my spirits through your blog about Jory.  How blessed you and Sam and your family and world were to have Jory in your lives and now through music and your blog his legacy continues. May his memory bring you comfort and knowledge that the world is so much better because he was here and touched so many lives through his giving and loving spirit. We need more Jorys in the  world today.

Stephan Schutze

One of my most enjoyable days ever was due to Jory and his forever acts of kindness.

Elaine Socol
 I was in tears as I read about Axel, his family and your dear Jory. How thoughtful it was for you to give to Axel his special friend’s dog tags, embossed with his name. Yes, Jory will always be there for Axel.

Photo Credit:  Knut Rothe

©  Leslye J. Prum   2017  All Rights Reserved